Cancun Vacation - The way over

So Trish and I decided to head out to Cancun for a vacation. We planned it a while back, and invited some of you, but nobody wanted to come along. Whatever, your loss. Now you can read about everything you missed! I know, it's totally awesome, it's like being there really. Anyways, Cancun through my eyes is probably way more hilarious than if you were there yourself.

SFO is far from our place, so trying to find a way to get there is always a problem. We did a hotel 1 night and park for 2 weeks once, and that worked well. But for Cancun we were leaving Friday night, so we opted for a shuttle instead. These guys pick you up at your house and bring you to the airport. The shuttle ride was pretty quiet, met a guy from New York. He wasn't very interesting. We got to the International terminal, and the dude wanted us to get out, we thought Mexico flights were domestic, but when we saw the Mexicana sign we figured we should get off the shuttle.

The international terminal at SFO is kinda boring... There was a bunch of annoying "kids" (you know, ages 20 to 25) that were also going to Cancun. Great. They were really loud and rowdy but the strangest thing was that they didn't seem to know each other much. They were really loud when we first boarded the plane, making jokes yelling at each other and stuff but when the plane took off the loudest of the bunch was out cold. He slept in the most awkward position with his head lolling forward. I hope he suffers severe neck pain. Not because I'm just plain mean, but because he really annoyed me.

Anyways, we got to Mexico city, most of the airport workers that dealt with people (this excludes maids and security) knew a little english. This helped because it meant I didn't have to break out my broken spanish just yet. Well, at least I thought it helped. The directions we got lead us to a baggage carousel where we patiently waited for our luggage. When our bags didn't show up and we were still waiting someone approached us(I didn't see many bags so I figured they just hadn't offloaded them all). I asked if they spoke english "Hablo Ingles?" they giggled, and told us yes. They directed us to our flight because our bags would be automatically transferred... hmm... when did we pass customs? Ok, whatever. Turns out they giggled because I should have said "Hablas Ingles?" and I more than likely said "I speak english?" the question mark must make it really funny. Hi! I'm not sure but I think I'm speaking english right now, do you know if that's right?

We got to the new terminal and it was the best terminal ever! The ground was dirty, the seats were dusty and the air had the smell of campfire and pooh. That's the kind of place I want to kill two hours in. So we wait because the electronic board says we should be at gate B. Seeing as we're standing at gate 19a,19b,19c and 19d we figure maybe we're in the right spot. A little while later a woman shows up at the information desk and tells us that terminal B is where we need to be, and that's trough the security checkpoint down the hall.

Mexicans have the best security. Toss your bag on the treadmill, it goes through the x-ray machine and you're done. Tada! Passed the security checkpoint the terminal greatly improved. There was food and shops, and the smell of pooh and campfire was a thing of the past. After deciding what to eat and never selecting any food we ended up in a 7-11 to buy some water. Then we headed to our flight. We were rejoined by the noisy "kids" since they too were headed to Cancun. They were much quieter this time, I guess an overnight flight and a 5am (3am our time) transfer really kicks you out of rowdy and excited mode.

The flight was ok except for a few REALLY annoying things. Apparently the chick sitting next to Trish kept elbowing her, that sucked. She didn't mention it to me until after the flight so I never did anything about it. The guy behind me kept putting their feet up into that little bag on the seat in front of you. So he was kinda kicking the back of my seat once in a while. When Trish put the armrest down between us the guy even put his foot on our armrest! Who the hell does that??!? Even people in movie theaters have more sense than putting their feet on someone else armrest. WTF?! So I elbowed his foot. He didn't move so I elbowed it harder. That got the message across. Then later in the flight he started whistling along with whatever music he was listening to... Some people are just born jerks. They probably don't even know why everyone thinks they're jerks. In their minds I'm sure putting their feet on someone else's armrest or whistling along to some obscure tune in a crowded plane is just normal. In my world, those people should be put in a zoo so that all the kids can point and say "look that guy has no manners" or "that one's funny mommy, he doesn't understand personal space". But that's life, jerks are everywhere.

We finally get to Cancun, we follow the signs to the baggage claim and as we had been warned, everyone asked us if we needed a taxi. As we were waiting for our baggage inside the terminal only the car rental shops and the tourist information people asked us if we needed a taxi. Our paper from the shuttle we booked warned us that there would be plenty of people asking us and to ignore them. We got our bags and finally we found the customs agents. Well, in Mexico city they gave us passport stamps, but this time it was the "search your bags" type of customs. The guy took our form (which said we had food with us) and then asked Trish to press the red button. The button was attached to what looked like a light post with two lights. Trish pressed the button and the green light came on spelling out PASS and so the custom agent waved us through the door. Now that's tight security. Are they using the light as an excuse? "I'm sorry sir, the light says I have to search all your belongings, please step this way. Don't mind the rubber gloves, it's all part of the process... now please take off your pants."

Well, we got a pass so out the door we went. Now I felt like a celebrity being hounded by the paparazzi on red carpet night. We walked out into a cordoned off area, on our side was the tourists, on the other side the taxi people. Instead of taking pictures they were saying "taxi! you need taxi? taxi!" Anyways, our paperwork described the guy we were looking for as a dude wearing a yellow shirt and blue pants with Thomas Moore logos on him. The guy who looked like that also had a Thomas Moore clip board. The paper also warned that the agent would only ask us for our voucher and that no money would be needed. That's what the guy did so we headed off with him. We ended up with six people all looking for Thomas Moore and so the clip board guy led us to the parking lot. In the parking lot one of the taxi guys tried to take a suitcase from a member of our group. The taxi guy pretended he was being helpful but clearly he was not with Thomas Moore. It's kinda creepy that they can be that pushy. Anyways, we made it to the hotel in one piece, so all is well.

One of the people that was also traveling from SFO to Cancun was this guy wearing a Brazil shirt. I was mentioning jerks earlier, and this guy was clearly one of em. Every time I saw him, on the plane, in the airport, at the customs lineup, it didn't matter... he was always chewing gum like a cow. He wasn't just chewing with his mouth open, he was chewing really big, as if he was trying to shove an apple in his mouth with every bite. In the taxi van he was sprawled all over until we had to cram all 6 of us in there. The he kept using my seat belt to pull himself up from slouching. And when he wasn't pulling himself up he was slouching so much and his knees were pressing on the back of my seat. When the first couple exited the cab (they were going to another resort) he started leaning forward and pointing at stuff through the front windshield between me and Trish. He would lean and then stick his arm over our seat and lean forward until his armpit was on the top of the seat. Not only that but he would cow-chew his gum the whole time. Sadly they are somewhere in our resort, hopefully we never see them again though.

So we get to the resort, our room won't be ready till noon, so we grab some food. It was pretty tasty. Then we go check in and the guy tells us that our room is on the ground floor. We ask and he says he can't change the room because it's already assigned. Apparently at this resort, you're subject to the whims of a computer. Our villa(room) is actually pretty big. Two bath, two bed, kitchen, living room. Sleeps probably 8, 10 if you have some really small friends. The master bedroom has a huge bed, then there's two doubles in the other room and two singles that are murphy beds. Murphy beds are the ones that you pull out of the wall.

The resort also has a cool scam. They validate your credit card for about $1000 and then your room key is used as a cash card. This way you never need cash on the resort, you just use your room key. You can use it at the restaurants, the bar, the pool bar, the mini mart, you can even use it at affiliated restaurants and resorts in the nearby area. If your card runs out, you can extend your credit the same way. This way you can't keep track of your spending! Awesome!

We napped and then checked out the area. The beach is rocky, big rocks with lots of sand and sea shells. The water is warm in both the pool and the ocean. The sun is killer. Super hot. I'll either get a massive tan or a massive sunburn or both by the end of the week.

For supper we hit the restaurant and it's all you can eat tacos for 200 pesos, about $15. So we got that. Trish had many shrimp tacos and I had tons of beef, pork and chicken tacos to go with my shrimp tacos. The cooks name was Julian, he cooked tacos to order. I chatted with him, he was using his broken english and I used my broken spanish. He asked me why I was speaking spanish and I told him I was practicing for when people didn't speak english. He was a cool guy, he helped me with my spanish, I helped him a little with english. He seemed to enjoy my strange requests, like mixing beef and pork into the same taco. Or some tacos without tortillas. He tried to give me directions to the market, but in the end I didn't really understand much. Though if you ask someone where to go to buy food or other things, they always answer Walmart first! Crazy. I came to Cancun to go to walmart.

Anyways, we took an evening swim and then slept. This morning we had an orientation session and the only really useful things were the maps we got and the warning about pickpockets. I also asked the guy about the best fish tacos in town, so we got directions to a couple of places. When we got back to our room there was a large iguana on our patio. So we're not complaining too much about being on the ground floor anymore. The iguana that Trish named Jorge (pronounced Hor-he in spanish) was pretty cool except for the massive crap he left on our patio. it's pretty much the size and shape of a sharpie pen. Thanks for the present Jorge.

We had lunch from stuff we bought at the mini-mart and headed to the 1pm welcome party. Apparently open bar in Cancun means all you can drink rum and coke or dos equis. Really what else would anyone want right? Oh well... it was pretty boring, we went to the pool instead and enjoyed our free drinks. One warning though, everything here is stone, and the sun makes the stone really really hot. If you take off your sandals you run the risk of burning your feet.

Well, so far so good. We're probably gonna go downtown and scope out Walmart because apparently it's the awesomest place on earth. You know... WALMART! woo!